Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Sick
I'm sick today, so I'm likely to be lurking around everyone's websites instead of doing actual work. Just as a forewarning.
I don't actually feel sick in a normal sense, my sinuses are mostly clear, but my eyes are dry and scratchy and my body feels like I just ran a marathon. I can't say I have much of an appetite either. Perhaps some rest will do the trick. Or maybe I have mono. That would suck. Doesn't that last a few months? I hope I don't have mono. Or Lupus for that matter. Lupus would suck too.
I need a haircut, but I don't think I can afford one. This makes you sad.
Here's a quiz for you to kill time with:
1. What was your favorite TV show/book/movie as a child?
2. what was the worst food you've ever eaten?
3. If you owned a parakeet, what would you name it?
4. If you had to choose, what would you rather do in front of a crowd of 50 people: sing, give a speech, or be naked?
5. Have you ever had a recurring dream, and if so, what was it about?
6. If you had to read a bedtime story to either Daryl Hall from Hall & Oates, or the dad from TV's "Blossom", which would you choose, and why?
I don't actually feel sick in a normal sense, my sinuses are mostly clear, but my eyes are dry and scratchy and my body feels like I just ran a marathon. I can't say I have much of an appetite either. Perhaps some rest will do the trick. Or maybe I have mono. That would suck. Doesn't that last a few months? I hope I don't have mono. Or Lupus for that matter. Lupus would suck too.
I need a haircut, but I don't think I can afford one. This makes you sad.
Here's a quiz for you to kill time with:
1. What was your favorite TV show/book/movie as a child?
2. what was the worst food you've ever eaten?
3. If you owned a parakeet, what would you name it?
4. If you had to choose, what would you rather do in front of a crowd of 50 people: sing, give a speech, or be naked?
5. Have you ever had a recurring dream, and if so, what was it about?
6. If you had to read a bedtime story to either Daryl Hall from Hall & Oates, or the dad from TV's "Blossom", which would you choose, and why?
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Friday, August 26, 2005
Thursday, August 25, 2005
I can't seem to win at this game. I guess I gotta brush up on my man skills.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Canada Fishing Trip
Friday, August 19, 2005
Dislikes
Megan had a good post recently about people's dislikes, or "pet peeves", if you will (which I won't, because the phrase "pet peeve" is in itself a pet peeve of mine, and oddly enough, so is the phrase "if you will"). I couldn't really think of anything that always bugs me that day, but I finally came up with something:
Sleeveless sweaters.
I've seen these on women in the past few years and I can't stand them. Sweaters are worn to keep you warm in winter. Sleeveless apparel is worn to keep you cool in summer. These two do not mix for a reason. It's like wearing open-toed rain boots. It doesn't make sense. Unless there are people out there who have very cold torsoes but unusually warm appendages. I would think such a condition would require medical attention, however. I can't take you seriously if you are wearing a sleeveless sweater.
I also can't stand the poncho trend.
Ladies, evidently if you want to be trendy and attractive to men here's how you do it:
1. Cut a hole in the middle of your throw rug.
2. Wear it.
I also dislike tube-tops, but does anyone really wear those outside of college? The sexy factor of a tube top is immediately destroyed by the fact that girls who wear them look like they're doing the chicken dance because they have to pull the top up by its sides every 30 seconds.
I dislike other things than ladies fashions, I reckon, but once I get on a roll it's hard to stop.
Also, I dislike the word "smoothie".
Sleeveless sweaters.
I've seen these on women in the past few years and I can't stand them. Sweaters are worn to keep you warm in winter. Sleeveless apparel is worn to keep you cool in summer. These two do not mix for a reason. It's like wearing open-toed rain boots. It doesn't make sense. Unless there are people out there who have very cold torsoes but unusually warm appendages. I would think such a condition would require medical attention, however. I can't take you seriously if you are wearing a sleeveless sweater.
I also can't stand the poncho trend.
Ladies, evidently if you want to be trendy and attractive to men here's how you do it:
1. Cut a hole in the middle of your throw rug.
2. Wear it.
I also dislike tube-tops, but does anyone really wear those outside of college? The sexy factor of a tube top is immediately destroyed by the fact that girls who wear them look like they're doing the chicken dance because they have to pull the top up by its sides every 30 seconds.
I dislike other things than ladies fashions, I reckon, but once I get on a roll it's hard to stop.
Also, I dislike the word "smoothie".
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Documentaries
Jen has one o' them fancy Blockbuster Online accounts, and she lets me pick out some movies that I want to see. I'm not much of a movie buff - I enjoy watching all of the Oscar movies in the winter, but I don't have much of a desire to see summer blockbusters or mediocre comedies. I do really like documentaries. I don't know what it is about non-fiction that piques my curiousity, but it just does.
Inversely, Jen claims she has never seen a documentary. So she picked one that could be of interest to both of us. It was a documentary of the life of Anne Frank. It was boring as hell. Unfortunately, now I think she's got the idea that all documentaries are just close-ups of old pictures and boring interviews with a bunch of talking heads. And that's just not true.
So we have this one at home now, and from what I hear, it's very moving and unforgettable. It follows this trial as it's going on, so it's not just a bunch of boring people talking about history. I'd like to see if it redeems the documentary genre for Jen, so perhaps I could introduce her to some of the other good documentaries like Hoop Dreams, Supersize Me, Paradise Lost, Roger & Me, and Hearts & Minds, but I guess I'm watching this one alone. Any ideas on how I can convince her that she may actually enjoy this one? ...I mean, besides this blog entry, which she has just read.
Although from what I hear, they show a live pig being slaughtered in this one. I'm guessing she won't dig that too much. Can't be anymore insufferable than watching Brittany Murphy act like a lunatic for 90 minutes, I reckon.
Inversely, Jen claims she has never seen a documentary. So she picked one that could be of interest to both of us. It was a documentary of the life of Anne Frank. It was boring as hell. Unfortunately, now I think she's got the idea that all documentaries are just close-ups of old pictures and boring interviews with a bunch of talking heads. And that's just not true.
So we have this one at home now, and from what I hear, it's very moving and unforgettable. It follows this trial as it's going on, so it's not just a bunch of boring people talking about history. I'd like to see if it redeems the documentary genre for Jen, so perhaps I could introduce her to some of the other good documentaries like Hoop Dreams, Supersize Me, Paradise Lost, Roger & Me, and Hearts & Minds, but I guess I'm watching this one alone. Any ideas on how I can convince her that she may actually enjoy this one? ...I mean, besides this blog entry, which she has just read.
Although from what I hear, they show a live pig being slaughtered in this one. I'm guessing she won't dig that too much. Can't be anymore insufferable than watching Brittany Murphy act like a lunatic for 90 minutes, I reckon.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Thursday, August 11, 2005
The Cubs
Right now the Cubs are on their second 8-game skid of the year going into a series against the winningest team in the NL.
Now, despite what my lovely and wonderful girlfriend may think, I actually do cheer for the Cubs. I watched every game in the 2003 NLDS, and celebrated with everyone else. I was jam-packed into the Ginger Man for the NLCS - right in the middle of it. I yelled obscenities at the TV when Bartman knocked that ball, just like everyone else. I called my mom to tell her to just let the machine pick up when the Cubs won the pennant, just so she could hear first hand the mayhem that was to ensue in Wrigleyville. And the Cubs disappointed in the end.
But admittedly, I am not originally from Chicago. My dad used to take me to Brewers games as a kid, and I can still name the 89 lineup. So I am not a "true" Cubs fan, I suppose. But I like to see them do well.
Of course, the first team I really had the chance to spend time with here was the Sox. For $10 I could spend a Monday and Tuesday in the bleachers of the Cell. I ate polish sausages, watched fireworks, and chanted O-E-O-Maaaaglio.
So I root for both teams. Being from central Wisconsin, where it was a 3 hour drive just to see a ballgame, I would've killed to have 2 different teams to see in the same city. I guess I don't get the animosity.
Anyhow, I'm rambling. Now, I may not be a "true" Cubs or Sox fan, but I am a true Packer fan, and when they're doing poorly, I'm the first one to demand the head of the coaching staff, or the players, or... well, just about anyone who isn't Favre. I think fans deserve to be the most critical of their teams. So in case there's still true Cubs fans who haven't caught on...
The Cubs blow.
Not in general, mind you. Just the past couple years. They are not a good team.
I'm not saying this to be a dick or to rub it in. It's not like I'm saying "the Rockies blow" when everyone already knows it.
I'm saying it because they suck, and they shouldn't. That's disappointing.
This should be even more disappointing to true Cubs fans, because on paper the Cubs have a starting pitching staff that should be BY FAR the best in both leagues. You've got a first baseman who is a viable MVP candidate. And yet the Cubs can't win. Moreover, they lose by stupid mistakes and by walking in the winning run.
Someone's gotta be accountable. Maybe everyone should be. I think if the Cubs have to go on another 8 game skid just to get this club to make some drastic changes, so be it.
Either Dusty has to go, or most of the team should.
Here's what I would do:
1) Trade Kerry Wood while you can still get more than a bag of balls for him. He will be worth nothing in a year. the guy is only good when he's throwing at full strength, which gets him injured every damn season. And yes, he'll still be on the DL for half the year as a reliever.
2) Fire the pitching coaches. They can't keep anyone healthy. Something is wrong there.
3) Get rid of whomever you need to (minus Lee and Garciaparra) for a decent closer, solid hitters, and guys who can play defense.
Clean house. The Cubs owe it to the fans. Even the retards at Hi-Tops.
The Cubs need tough love.
Now, despite what my lovely and wonderful girlfriend may think, I actually do cheer for the Cubs. I watched every game in the 2003 NLDS, and celebrated with everyone else. I was jam-packed into the Ginger Man for the NLCS - right in the middle of it. I yelled obscenities at the TV when Bartman knocked that ball, just like everyone else. I called my mom to tell her to just let the machine pick up when the Cubs won the pennant, just so she could hear first hand the mayhem that was to ensue in Wrigleyville. And the Cubs disappointed in the end.
But admittedly, I am not originally from Chicago. My dad used to take me to Brewers games as a kid, and I can still name the 89 lineup. So I am not a "true" Cubs fan, I suppose. But I like to see them do well.
Of course, the first team I really had the chance to spend time with here was the Sox. For $10 I could spend a Monday and Tuesday in the bleachers of the Cell. I ate polish sausages, watched fireworks, and chanted O-E-O-Maaaaglio.
So I root for both teams. Being from central Wisconsin, where it was a 3 hour drive just to see a ballgame, I would've killed to have 2 different teams to see in the same city. I guess I don't get the animosity.
Anyhow, I'm rambling. Now, I may not be a "true" Cubs or Sox fan, but I am a true Packer fan, and when they're doing poorly, I'm the first one to demand the head of the coaching staff, or the players, or... well, just about anyone who isn't Favre. I think fans deserve to be the most critical of their teams. So in case there's still true Cubs fans who haven't caught on...
The Cubs blow.
Not in general, mind you. Just the past couple years. They are not a good team.
I'm not saying this to be a dick or to rub it in. It's not like I'm saying "the Rockies blow" when everyone already knows it.
I'm saying it because they suck, and they shouldn't. That's disappointing.
This should be even more disappointing to true Cubs fans, because on paper the Cubs have a starting pitching staff that should be BY FAR the best in both leagues. You've got a first baseman who is a viable MVP candidate. And yet the Cubs can't win. Moreover, they lose by stupid mistakes and by walking in the winning run.
Someone's gotta be accountable. Maybe everyone should be. I think if the Cubs have to go on another 8 game skid just to get this club to make some drastic changes, so be it.
Either Dusty has to go, or most of the team should.
Here's what I would do:
1) Trade Kerry Wood while you can still get more than a bag of balls for him. He will be worth nothing in a year. the guy is only good when he's throwing at full strength, which gets him injured every damn season. And yes, he'll still be on the DL for half the year as a reliever.
2) Fire the pitching coaches. They can't keep anyone healthy. Something is wrong there.
3) Get rid of whomever you need to (minus Lee and Garciaparra) for a decent closer, solid hitters, and guys who can play defense.
Clean house. The Cubs owe it to the fans. Even the retards at Hi-Tops.
The Cubs need tough love.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
I got the Rollie on my arm, and I'm pouring Chandon...
I am consistently amazed by the Neptunes.
Bewildered is maybe a better word. It's not like I think their songs are that great, it's just that they have this uncanny ability to tap into something other-worldly and create anthems and catchphrases that are embraced and repeated by millions of people while still being original.
I first noticed this with that "Drop It Like It's Hot" song. It took me repeated listens to figure out whether I loved that song or hated it. I finally decided I loved it since I was listening to it so much. But mostly I was in awe of how someone could make a hit song with no discernable melody, and only tongue clicks, slide whistles, and a tin of Jiffy Pop as accompaniment.
Now comes this "Hollaback Girl" song. Here's another song with no discernable melody. It's essentially just a big long cheer. But it has the entire nation chanting "the shit is bananas" and spelling out "bananas". How does this happen? And more importantly, why do I love spelling out "bananas"?
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Small talk
I always felt there was something disingenuous about small talk. It's conversation that neither party is interested in having, and therefore it has no real value other than diffusing awkward silence, which is apparently considered worse than awkward conversation. Because of this, I've had an infinite number of conversations with strangers (or relative strangers) on the following topics:
- the weather. I find that the frequency of this topic is analogous to how far the weather has strayed from comfortable. (e.g., "I can't take much more of this heat", or "Cold enough for ya?")
- what day of the work week it is, in comparison to one's level of exhaustion. Monday and Friday are the best days for this topic. It is universally accepted that everyone will be tired from either weekend fun or the rough work week, respectively, and therefore this is a common bond between yourself and aforementioned stranger. This becomes a more difficult topic during the middle days, in which case you must reference Friday, whether rhetorically ("Is it Friday yet?") or incredulously ("I can't believe it's only Wednesday. It feels like Friday!") The latter also assumes that each weekday has a "feeling". This, too, is universally accepted.
- Weekend plans. Actually, this is Friday Only conversation, and only allowed once the other person has moved up from "stranger" to "acquaintance". There has to be a level of comfort involved, because a stranger's weekend plans can often range from "spending time with the family" to "stabbing a transvestite".
Anyhow, I've grown weary of having the same conversations over and over. I don't think it's completely out of line to demand more out of people with whom we are forced to share an elevator or train seat or doctor's office. Next time someone says something about the weather, I think I'll counter with something like "Do you think there's a hell, and if so, are we all headed there?"
I'm guessing I'll have a lot more awkward silences to deal with.
- the weather. I find that the frequency of this topic is analogous to how far the weather has strayed from comfortable. (e.g., "I can't take much more of this heat", or "Cold enough for ya?")
- what day of the work week it is, in comparison to one's level of exhaustion. Monday and Friday are the best days for this topic. It is universally accepted that everyone will be tired from either weekend fun or the rough work week, respectively, and therefore this is a common bond between yourself and aforementioned stranger. This becomes a more difficult topic during the middle days, in which case you must reference Friday, whether rhetorically ("Is it Friday yet?") or incredulously ("I can't believe it's only Wednesday. It feels like Friday!") The latter also assumes that each weekday has a "feeling". This, too, is universally accepted.
- Weekend plans. Actually, this is Friday Only conversation, and only allowed once the other person has moved up from "stranger" to "acquaintance". There has to be a level of comfort involved, because a stranger's weekend plans can often range from "spending time with the family" to "stabbing a transvestite".
Anyhow, I've grown weary of having the same conversations over and over. I don't think it's completely out of line to demand more out of people with whom we are forced to share an elevator or train seat or doctor's office. Next time someone says something about the weather, I think I'll counter with something like "Do you think there's a hell, and if so, are we all headed there?"
I'm guessing I'll have a lot more awkward silences to deal with.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Question:
If you were provided a pit identical to the ones that Jiffy Lube uses, as well as a place to discard used oil, would you change your own oil?
My latest entrepreneurial scheme is to start a self-service oil change place. I can't stand spending $30 at Jiffy Lube for a service that a dimwitted monkey could perform - but I do it, simply because I have no room to store ramps and no place to safely discard oil. Now if someplace provided these two things, and let you use them for a reasonable fee (probably just tacked on to the price of the 4 quarts of oil), would you take advantage of this?
My slogan would be "Real Men Change Their Own Oil". Cuts to the quick - makes Jiffy Lube customers feel emasculated.
My feedback on this so far has been positive. Not only do people seem to like this idea, but they also seem to share their stories of being f'd over by Jiffy Lube. So there appears to be a market.
This already seems better than my idea for a bar called Makeout Party and my idea for Gay chapstick combined.
My latest entrepreneurial scheme is to start a self-service oil change place. I can't stand spending $30 at Jiffy Lube for a service that a dimwitted monkey could perform - but I do it, simply because I have no room to store ramps and no place to safely discard oil. Now if someplace provided these two things, and let you use them for a reasonable fee (probably just tacked on to the price of the 4 quarts of oil), would you take advantage of this?
My slogan would be "Real Men Change Their Own Oil". Cuts to the quick - makes Jiffy Lube customers feel emasculated.
My feedback on this so far has been positive. Not only do people seem to like this idea, but they also seem to share their stories of being f'd over by Jiffy Lube. So there appears to be a market.
This already seems better than my idea for a bar called Makeout Party and my idea for Gay chapstick combined.
Peter Jennings
Peter Jennings died. In his obit on Yahoo, the two adjectives used to describe him are "urbane" and "Canadian-born". It seems odd to me that when it is necessary to sum up a man's worth in 2 words, his accomplishments are trumped by the fact that he came out of his mom's girly-parts on Canuck soil.
Sorry it's been a while since I've written anything. It's been a rather hectic week.
I want to say thank you to all of Jen's friends who have been more than great this past week. Some of you have known me for only a relatively short period of time, (and some of you have known Matt even less), but you all made Matt and I feel like family. It has meant the world to us.
A special thanks to Aimee, who was kind of swept up into everything by chance and was fantastic through all of it. She and Jen got all the info from the doctors when I was too sleepy to be attentive, and kept us all company when we needed it.
And to Jennifer - I can't imagine what this week would've been like without you there. You've been so wonderful even though it has been tough on you as well. I can't thank you enough. I love you.
You meet lots of good people in a lifetime, but it's rare to meet truly great people, and you all fit the profile. I can't say I've ever met a more caring, generous, and beautiful group of women. You're all the complete package. Can I keep you all to myself? I mean, I don't bring a whole lot to the table, but I can cook a mean dinner...
Right before Matt and I got into the car accident we played a show with these guys who were on tour from the UK. A nice bunch of blokes, they are. And talented. We listened to their CD in the car, and I haven't been able to get this song out of my head the entire week. It's so good. Check it out.
Okay, I don't like to be too serious or sappy, so next I'm going to post a picture of a guy wearing a paper bag that's on fire.
I want to say thank you to all of Jen's friends who have been more than great this past week. Some of you have known me for only a relatively short period of time, (and some of you have known Matt even less), but you all made Matt and I feel like family. It has meant the world to us.
A special thanks to Aimee, who was kind of swept up into everything by chance and was fantastic through all of it. She and Jen got all the info from the doctors when I was too sleepy to be attentive, and kept us all company when we needed it.
And to Jennifer - I can't imagine what this week would've been like without you there. You've been so wonderful even though it has been tough on you as well. I can't thank you enough. I love you.
You meet lots of good people in a lifetime, but it's rare to meet truly great people, and you all fit the profile. I can't say I've ever met a more caring, generous, and beautiful group of women. You're all the complete package. Can I keep you all to myself? I mean, I don't bring a whole lot to the table, but I can cook a mean dinner...
Right before Matt and I got into the car accident we played a show with these guys who were on tour from the UK. A nice bunch of blokes, they are. And talented. We listened to their CD in the car, and I haven't been able to get this song out of my head the entire week. It's so good. Check it out.
Okay, I don't like to be too serious or sappy, so next I'm going to post a picture of a guy wearing a paper bag that's on fire.