Today I Am Smarter Than Usual
Today I am smarter than usual.
Or at least, I appear to be. You see, today I am wearing my glasses. Not for any particular reason other than that I didn't feel like wearing contacts. Yet for some reason, I am told glasses make a person look smarter. Or, at the very least, bookish. This is odd, but true. When you really think about it, there should be absolutely no connection between a person's intelligence and the quality of his or her vision. Saying "those glasses make you look smart" is akin to saying "those braces make you look talented at basketball".
I had this discussion over dinner with my fellow bespectacled friend Matt. This is notable because at one point I had a comment that was something like "you are intelligent enough to have bad vision", which made him laugh so hard that his last sip of martini came out his nose. He tells me it was rather painful.
For the record, I know many intelligent people that do not wear glasses, and inversely, many dumb people that do. I don't know where the stereotype came from. My best guess is that around the time of their invention, glasses were considered an unaffordable luxury, therefore the only people who could afford them were a) the affluent, who were likely also well-educated or b) avid readers who decided being able to see words clearly was worth the money. This is only speculation, however.
But for whatever reason, glasses do make you look smarter. Evidence of this is most plainly illustrated by the early 90's success of Lisa Loeb's "Stay". For all practical purposes, a mildly hummable song by a mousy lead singer girl should've faded into obscurity. However, if you're like everyone in the MTV generation, the one thing you remember about that song was the video of her walking around some random Manhattan loft looking sad and wearing cat glasses. I distinctly remember some of my guy friends immediately falling in love with her because of those glasses. Despite the fact that she admittedly only hears what she wants to, and she doesn't listen hard or pay attention to your apparently impressive distance-running, a whole gaggle of male liberal arts majors assumed that she was their soulmate. They imagined themselves in said Manhattan loft, cuddling up to a naked Miss Loeb while having a deep, meaningful, post-coital discussion about the best writings of Foucault.
But as the film that made that song famous tells us, reality bites. Lisa Loeb is not deep, she's nearsighted.
P.S. - I am only referring to eyeglasses above. Sunglasses do not make anyone look smarter. Quite the opposite, actually. Wearing sunglasses will make people assume you are either a) way cool, b) blind, or c) starring in "Teen Wolf Too". Those are all mutually exclusive.
Or at least, I appear to be. You see, today I am wearing my glasses. Not for any particular reason other than that I didn't feel like wearing contacts. Yet for some reason, I am told glasses make a person look smarter. Or, at the very least, bookish. This is odd, but true. When you really think about it, there should be absolutely no connection between a person's intelligence and the quality of his or her vision. Saying "those glasses make you look smart" is akin to saying "those braces make you look talented at basketball".
I had this discussion over dinner with my fellow bespectacled friend Matt. This is notable because at one point I had a comment that was something like "you are intelligent enough to have bad vision", which made him laugh so hard that his last sip of martini came out his nose. He tells me it was rather painful.
For the record, I know many intelligent people that do not wear glasses, and inversely, many dumb people that do. I don't know where the stereotype came from. My best guess is that around the time of their invention, glasses were considered an unaffordable luxury, therefore the only people who could afford them were a) the affluent, who were likely also well-educated or b) avid readers who decided being able to see words clearly was worth the money. This is only speculation, however.
But for whatever reason, glasses do make you look smarter. Evidence of this is most plainly illustrated by the early 90's success of Lisa Loeb's "Stay". For all practical purposes, a mildly hummable song by a mousy lead singer girl should've faded into obscurity. However, if you're like everyone in the MTV generation, the one thing you remember about that song was the video of her walking around some random Manhattan loft looking sad and wearing cat glasses. I distinctly remember some of my guy friends immediately falling in love with her because of those glasses. Despite the fact that she admittedly only hears what she wants to, and she doesn't listen hard or pay attention to your apparently impressive distance-running, a whole gaggle of male liberal arts majors assumed that she was their soulmate. They imagined themselves in said Manhattan loft, cuddling up to a naked Miss Loeb while having a deep, meaningful, post-coital discussion about the best writings of Foucault.
But as the film that made that song famous tells us, reality bites. Lisa Loeb is not deep, she's nearsighted.
P.S. - I am only referring to eyeglasses above. Sunglasses do not make anyone look smarter. Quite the opposite, actually. Wearing sunglasses will make people assume you are either a) way cool, b) blind, or c) starring in "Teen Wolf Too". Those are all mutually exclusive.
Oh, and the BIGGER the sunglasses, the dumber you look...unless you're old -- in which case it's just a little sad.
-Stevie D. (lazycomic.blogspot.com)
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:50 PM
I think wearing sunglasses at night makes you look real smart!
Posted by
Anonymous |
9:59 AM