CTA Blues
My commute is getting annoying.
I suppose it's not terrible in the morning, but during the rush hour back home, every red or blue line stop in the loop becomes a showcase for Star Search rejects. People who can't sing singing. People who can't rap rapping. Seeing as my hands are usually already full with my thermal coffee mug and whatever book I happen to be reading at that given time, I have no place to store a gong, or a comically large hook with which to offer up my opinion of these performances. They are all deserving of both. (The one exception might be the guy in the Jackson Red Line Station yesterday who played a panflute version of "We Are The World" to a pre-recorded backing track, which I found to be delightfully kitschy. On yet another side note, the panflute guys usually scare me because at one point in college I swear they followed me wherever I went. As I went to class, panflute. When I went to the mall later, panflute. I could not escape them. But I digress.)
On top of this, the Red Line train that I take home every day seems to be driven by the same driver. Or engineer, or whatever the hell they are called. I know this because after each stop, he feels the need to say something over the speaker system. I first noticed this a couple of months ago. Doors opened at Fullerton, and all of a sudden, I shit you not, this phrase comes over the speaker:
"Take care, wenches!"
Cue bewildered look from my fellow CTA riders, or fellow wenches, as we were now addressed as.
I figured this was some cocky engineer who wanted to see what he could get away with saying over the speaker. I reckoned that the CTA would get a call soon after from some offended passenger, and this certain engineer would be sacked immediately. It would have to be someone other than me, as I am not easily offended, and instead react to these situations in the same curious way a dog does when you burp loud at it.
But then a couple weeks later, same train, same engineer, same send-off: "Take care, wenches!" Then again the next day. And the day after. Now I am growing accustomed to being called a wench on a daily basis. Yesterday he added "May The Force Be With You".
I suppose it's not terrible in the morning, but during the rush hour back home, every red or blue line stop in the loop becomes a showcase for Star Search rejects. People who can't sing singing. People who can't rap rapping. Seeing as my hands are usually already full with my thermal coffee mug and whatever book I happen to be reading at that given time, I have no place to store a gong, or a comically large hook with which to offer up my opinion of these performances. They are all deserving of both. (The one exception might be the guy in the Jackson Red Line Station yesterday who played a panflute version of "We Are The World" to a pre-recorded backing track, which I found to be delightfully kitschy. On yet another side note, the panflute guys usually scare me because at one point in college I swear they followed me wherever I went. As I went to class, panflute. When I went to the mall later, panflute. I could not escape them. But I digress.)
On top of this, the Red Line train that I take home every day seems to be driven by the same driver. Or engineer, or whatever the hell they are called. I know this because after each stop, he feels the need to say something over the speaker system. I first noticed this a couple of months ago. Doors opened at Fullerton, and all of a sudden, I shit you not, this phrase comes over the speaker:
"Take care, wenches!"
Cue bewildered look from my fellow CTA riders, or fellow wenches, as we were now addressed as.
I figured this was some cocky engineer who wanted to see what he could get away with saying over the speaker. I reckoned that the CTA would get a call soon after from some offended passenger, and this certain engineer would be sacked immediately. It would have to be someone other than me, as I am not easily offended, and instead react to these situations in the same curious way a dog does when you burp loud at it.
But then a couple weeks later, same train, same engineer, same send-off: "Take care, wenches!" Then again the next day. And the day after. Now I am growing accustomed to being called a wench on a daily basis. Yesterday he added "May The Force Be With You".
Are you sure he isn't saying "brown line train on the outside Brown line train on the outside"
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