Cell Phones Are Expensive

I think I need fashion help.

Today it took me forever to get dressed. I have a nice V-neck sweater that I wanted to wear, and I wanted to wear a button-down collared shirt under it, like all those fashionable folks in the catalogs do.

Well, I don't know how the catalog folks and fashionable mannequins do it. I tried wearing my brown striped shirt underneath, but the collar was too big and bulky and it looked funny. Then I tried my maroon shirt underneath, and that looks okay, but it seemed sort of weird tucked in. All the catalogs show that you're supposed to leave the tails out so they peek out the bottom of the sweater. That looks better - it gives your look some consistancy. The tails on the maroon shirt look nice in front, but the back is way too long and it looks like a big piece of maroon fabric is covering my butt like some sort of butt cape. As if my butt was a superhero butt that fights butt crime. I realized that all my shirts are like this, for the simple reason that they need that length to be tucked in.

So I don't understand how to make this look work. Do I have to buy smaller, tighter button-down shirts than I normally would, just for the sole purpose of wearing underneath V-neck sweaters? If I do that, the sleeves will be way too short, and will not stick out of the sweater sleeves like they do on these presumably strangely proportioned models. Are there special sweaters or shirts that can help me accomplish this look?

In any case, I tucked in the back of the shirt and left the front out. It appears to look okay, but I'm not a good judge of this sort of thing.

This is why I could never be gay. I am not at all good at coordinating an outfit. Also, I'm not attracted to dudes.

Posted by Dan on Tuesday, November 15, 2005 at 10:59 AM | Permalink